The Filth Fighter Ch 3

The lungfish was eyeing Howard, staring at his shiny, bloody shoulder. Ralf, with one hand, used the mop like a spear keeping it between the beast and his friend. He noticed that looking at the spotted and striped creature and seemed to have an upward curving mouth. It was as if the beast had a perpetual dopey grin as if the human food was deeply amusing. It seemed to have several different spots and stripes, and the fuzzy tentacles by its gills seemed to pulse as if it was breathing.

“Monster. Fish don’t have legs. They can’t have legs.” Howard gasped.

Slowly backing away while paying attention to the fish, Ralf said, “It looks dopey. How did this injure you so badly?”

The lungfish then opened its mouth, showing off its dental abomination. While sharks and humans have a similar white smile, with a flat part of the tooth facing outward. This lungfish had dark brown teeth plates. The flat of the teeth plates angled towards its throat. It had a stench that reeked of rotting human blood. It also passed air through its gills, which made a deep vibrating sound, like a roar coming from a deep ocean.

“That mouth is worse than sharks.” As the creature shook, some of its mucus fell on the floor and began to hiss. “And I can’t wrestle it. Great.” Ralf said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Howard, hearing the roar, perked up and shouted, “You ate my camera! Monster!” His sudden jerk surprised Ralf and caused the wound to reopen on the shoulder. The fresh blood shined in the light, and the walking fish beast lunged toward Howard. Ralf tried to stab the creature with the mop end while pulling Howard out of the way. Unfortunately, the fish was more muscle than mucus, and they both fell over trash, barely dodging the creature. Ralf quickly backed away and tried to half walk, half run backward to the exit for the room. All the while trying to not trip over the cramped clutter in the room.

“Howard, if we get out to the hallway and then in the elevator, you can get some help.” His friend had no response, but the fish replied by lunging at Ralf.

Ralf said in a panic, “Gag on this.” He then shoved the mop into the fish’s mouth, trying to press the mop head into the throat. When the fish started to back up, he pressed a button on the mop, and the head of the mop split apart into four moving, writhing, furry tentacles. It held onto the mouth, choking the creature. It bit down hard and thrashed about. Sadly, It was too strong, and Ralf had to let go of the mop. The experimental lungfish would grind the mop into scrap in a few seconds. Ralf had enough time to turn around and make a rushed break for the exit door.

“That thing is like a shark. Eating scrap.” Ralf said to himself.

Howard said weakly, “It eats everything. It will eat us all.”

Ralf said, “Hell no.” He saw the wheeled bucket by the door. Grabbing it with one hand and his friend in the other, he kicked the door open, pushing the man and the bucket out. Then, as quickly and carefully as possible, he laid Howard next to the elevator door. Turning to close the door, he saw the lungfish charging towards him, the mucus hissing as it slapped across the ground.

“No!” Ralf cursed. In the nick of time, he slammed the door shut, only for the door to almost pop off the wall. It collided with such force that Ralf was knocked back. In the thick of panic and adrenaline, he slammed back. Trying to put the door back. As he did, he saw the bucket nearby and grabbed it. He tried to shove the thing into the door handle. He tried to lean against the door. But, he heard a hissing sound at the door’s bottom. He watched the metal bottom of the door start to bend towards him. It was melting on the other side. He tried to slam the bucket into the bottom of the door. The lungfish, its long body of mucus and muscle, slammed into the door again. This time, the door was popped clean out of the wall. Ralf tumbled back, almost squishing Howard into the wall. The bucket sprayed soapy foam on the floor.

He started tapping the elevator buttons, screaming, “Work elevator, work!” He looked back to see the lungfish slowly walk towards them. Its dopy grin now seemed ravenous. It opened its mouth again, and now Ralf felt as much fear as Howard did. It pushed air through its gills and frills. The vibrating roar sounded like the call of death from the ocean’s abyss.

The fish made one sudden dash towards them. It crawled on top of soapy water. A bubbling and hissing sound gurgled out by its feet. The hungry lungfish cried out in pain. As it thrashed about, the soap coated its underside more. It thrashed harder. It stared at Ralf and Howard. Ralf looked at the closed elevator door. He then looked at Howard, limp, unmoving. He then looked at the bucket and made a split-second decision. He grabbed the bucket and tried shoving the beast’s face in the foam-filled bucket. The head was too big to stuff in the bucket. It did not stop the foam from spilling all over the creature, mucus hissing and popping. The beast vibrated out its pained roar. Ralf could feel the bellow with his body.

He shouted, “Clean up, you filthy fish!” Then, he tried to shove the beast back into the other room. The elevator finally opened up. Both Lyle and Todd came out.

Lyle grabbed Howard and hauled him to the elevator, shouting, “Why haven’t you pressed the kill switch yet!?”

Todd’s thumb hovering over his screen shouted back, “I can’t press the kill switch if someone else is touching it!”

“Of course,” Lyle said, rolling his eyes. “That’s just great.” he sarcastically said. Then, with a dash, he went to Ralf and pulled him back, saying, “Elevator. Now!”

Ralf, high on adrenaline, ran with Lyle to the elevator. As soon as they both got in, Todd pressed something on his screen. His experimental lungfish began to twitch and convulse. Something inside the creature was electrocuting it to death. In a second that felt like an hour, the twelve-foot-long, mucus and soap-covered lungfish bellowed out its last roar, opened its mouth wider than ever before, and died. Thick blood began to flow out of its mouth. The elevator door closed on the disheveled party. The monotonous ocean sounds of kelp forests began to play as the elevator reached ground level. Some people got on and off, seeing the group’s mess. They decided to ask no questions. The group did not want to talk. They eventually got to the ground floor, and everyone made their way to the medical area. After half an hour of the secretary and resident doctor taking care of everyone, Chunky Charlie entered.

Before anyone could say anything, Chunky Charlie said, “I saw everything on the security cameras. But, kid, I know this lungfish experiment was important for your degree.”

Todd shook his head and said, “I don’t know how it escaped, but it did. I am sorry for everything. It’s my fault. I’m sorry that guy got hurt.”

“Actually,” Chunky Charlie said, “One of the cleaning bots accidentally cleaned the cage, allowing it to escape and feed off of the fish waste on one of the lower floors. So don’t feel too bad about it.” He turned to Lyle and said. “For letting me know that there was a problem will look good on your report. A few more of these, and you can get promoted again.”

He also turned to Ralf and said, “Tell your friend that the company is willing to compensate him by boosting the application. He won’t get paid for this week but will come next week. He can start photographing and recording material in the saltwater shores department. As his application requested. As for you.” Ralf winced, expecting the worst. “You damaged company property, so you will have to take a 10% pay cut until the damages for the fish, mop, floor, bucket, and door are fixed.”

“That’s low even for you,” Lyle said.

Todd said, “Yea, since it was my experiment, is it my fault.”

“You didn’t let me finish,” Chunky Charlie said with irritation. “However, you did demonstrate leadership skills, saving a peer and stopping the company from paying death compensation. In light of this, I was promoted over that scummy fox of a ferret. With me gaining one of his votes, I could nominate you for a promotion and get it through. You’re getting a 10% pay raise effective immediately.”

Lyle said, “So he’s not seeing that promotion for at least four months.”

“Seven actually,” Chunky Charlie corrected, “But all in all, things are good. So Ralf, take this inconvenience with patience.

“Charlie, you make us work harder than we should,” Ralf said. “But thank you for the bonus.”

“If you keep improving, our team evaluations can improve. We all can climb the great corporate ladder. If this keeps up, I might get that unheard of; elusive, exquisite 11% raise next quarter!” With a smile that reminded everyone of the lungfish, Chunky Charlie lived up to his name and waddled away. They didn’t see him fiddling with a stick in his pocket. Greasy fingers felt the engraved words, Reprogramming Stick, and his grin stretched further across his face.

Ralf said, “Knowing him, we will only get half an hour before we have to start working again.”

Lyle said, “Chunky will want us to start working at the top of the next hour. The alarm will be blaring out even in here.”

Todd shook his head, saying, “I thought my degree was hard.”

“Well, we didn’t get one, so we got to work differently,” Lyle said. “He was catching sharks before he came here. Ralf is the good kind of crazy.”

Ralf said to Lyle and Todd, “I want to sleep while I can. Don’t wake me a minute before the alarm.” He then closed his eyes and relaxed into a dream for the first time in a long time. He was in a new pod, traveling on the road rail to his house. It was a pleasant red abode with a fire roasting clams and shoal shark meat in the yard. His first girlfriend beckoned him over. Throughout this vision, he smiled in his sleep. Even when the alarm blared out, he kept his smile.